School Girl Crush

When I was in junior primary school I had a crush on one of the boys in my class. Actually most of the girls had a crush on the same boy. I remember all of us chasing him in a game of catch and kiss and him getting so overwhelmed by the attention that he burst into tears.
I'm purposefully reminding myself of this story today because it has become apparent to me that there is a little girl in Jacks class that has a crush on him, and if I'm honest it's freaking me out.
He, in true Jack style, is completely oblivious. To him girls are just other cool people you hang out with at school when your sick of playing the games your guy friends play. He is so very very far from crushes.
Now I like this little girl very much. She is ballsy, and being the youngest after three brothers, she's outspoken, knows more about things like popular music and teen idols than most of the kids I've met. And apparently she gets what boy-girl relationships are 'supposed' to be about.
At Jacks sixth birthday party she arrived and had Jack written on her leg in pen with a love heart around it. I thought it was hilarious and also a bit more advanced than I had thought six year old kids were on average. This year they are in class again and the other day she invited Jack to her birthday party. It was a giggly affair as she handed over the invite and then as she walked off I heard her say to her friend "Oh my god, his hair is soooo cool".
Ummm ok ...
Then this morning she and one of her friends were talking to me and as I said that Jack was really looking forward to coming to her party her friend started to giggle and said in an excited tone "did you invite him?". The little crush girl smirked said yeah, then they both wandered off giggling and whispering looking back at Jack.
Oh My God!!!
So I'm reminding myself that I too had a little school girl crush when I wasn't much older than these kids are now, and it didn't turn into anything (mind you I am wondering if the boy we made cry was traumatized).
And of course when I told AB he was kind of chuffed and didn't at all get my mumma bear reaction ... the difference between men and women or fathers and sons?
They are growing so fast and sure it's all normal and expected, but today I am imagining him with girlfriends, kissing and heartbreak and wondering about this whole parenting thing and the directions it takes you in.
Remind me to get this little girls phone number, I may need to talk to her parents. (joking of course! .... mostly)
Watching - the miraculous event of a woman giving birth and a man becoming a father. What a lucky woman I am.
Listening - Aliens. I know I should be watching it but I'm to busy blogging.
Reading - Birth plan notes and the last chapter of Road to Perdido.
State of mind - a bit hyper after a birth but soooo glad to be off call and enjoying a glass of wine.

What Now?

It's the question of the moment. Now that I have two kids at school, what are my plans now. It's surprising who and how many people have asked me this in the last few weeks. People who love me, people who hardly know me, people who work full time outside the home and others who are still stay at home mums.
What now?
It's a curious question, and one where the answer isn't as easy as you might think.
What now?
I do keep asking myself the same question over and over again. I mean I do some work for AB each week but at the moment it's not enough to keep me busy five days a week. And sure at least one day a week could be filled with cleaning and grocery shopping. And I absolutely could spend some time fixing bits a pieces around the house, the lounge room alone could take me two weeks. But all of that still leaves around 2 - 3 days a week free.
Or 50 weeks, minus holidays thats 38 weeks which is (after weekends) 190 days, minus the 2ish days work I have that's 114 days!
114 me days a year! What now?
Cause let's be honest, I'm incredibly lackadaisical and sure I could totally spend some of that time catching up on favourite TV shows or books that have sat unread for way to long. But even I would find that boring after a certain amount of time (not as long as you would think, but longer than is probably healthy).
The truth is I don't exactly know 'what now?'.
I do know that there is probably more work coming through from ABs work, and I hope there is. It will be great to be busy during the school hours, it will be amazing to bring in some extra money to help out with our finances and take some of the burden off AB being the (mostly) sole provider. But I'm also glad that I get to pick up my kids every day, that the little money I already bring in helps, that I have the ability and now the time to hopefully fix our place up a bit more (cause lord knows it needs it).
So honestly, feel free to ask me what now? But please understand when I say "I have no idea! but if you have any feel free to share" :)
Watching - recently just devoured 'Misfits' seasons 1-3 loved it and recommend it highly. But take into account it could just be a very 'me' type show.
Listening - The XX, love that album!
Reading - Perdido Street Station - China Mieville.
State of mind - All kind of soft and gooey, with a chewy center :)

All Dressed Up.

Here he is. All ready for his first day of school and so incredibly proud. Walking around with his chest puffed out and the excited energy pouring out of him.
He walked straight into the classroom, sat at a desk and started playing with the play dough, just like his brother did on his first day two years ago.
I can't wait to pick him up, and ask him all about his day. To find out who he played with and what he thinks of his teacher. To see if he is disappointed that he didn't learn to read fluently on his first day (because that's how he thinks it works).
I'm sure there will be hard days, but today was not one of them.

It's Cool! Seriously!

I've been feeling really centered about the fact that Hamish starts school this week.  He's so excited that he has already packed his bag, decorated his library bag and told me exactly what he wants in his lunchbox for the first day.  And it's contagious.  Our whole household is buzzing with happy 'Hamish is starting school' vibes.

Until last night.  It's been a hot humid few days in Sydney, and in our old double brick house it means that sleep (upstairs) is almost impossible.  So as I lay there trying to get some sleep, I pondered on the whole school thing.  And yes I am excited, and yes I do think that he is ready and will be fine but I had forgotten something.  I had forgotten how much that first year of school changes them.

Jack was also excited about school and he fit into the whole thing really well, but by about 1/2 way through the year I noticed how much older he seemed.  He was more self assured, he needed me less, and although he was still my little man, he was also developing in a direction that I had no control over.  And that's a good thing.  But its also challenging.

So on Thursday my littlest man starts on the same journey.  By the end of this year, Hamish will be able to read.  He will be more independent, more grown-up, he will be a very different version of the boy that I send off to school in a few days..  And yes I am excited, but I am also feeling aware that this is the beginning of him becoming, even more, the Hamish he is without me.

I guess I should be used to the kids growing up by now!!

End of an Era!

Today is a huge day in my mothering life. It's MY last day at preschool! Sure you could think that I would be writing about my baby boy leaving his beautiful preschool. About how it has been such a nurturing and loving environment for him, and how things will change with him moving onto 'big school'.
All of those things are definitely going on but he's completely chilled about the move. If fact he can't wait. Last night as we talked about it he said he was really only going to miss his teachers and his friend Jacob. But he reminded me he could see his teacher whenever he wanted because preschools fence is attached to big school. Then to help matters Jack told Hamish all about school and how really the only difference is that you can't eat anytime you want ... Oh! he remembered, now that they have 'crunch and sip' (the kids now have a small container of fruit and vege on their desks during class time) he actually could eat anytime he wanted, so school isn't different at all!
You could also be thinking having two kids in the one place will be fantastic (I know I am). One institution to focus on, no more events on the same day and having to choose if I go to the preschool one or the school one, one place to drop off and pick up!! And all of that really does sounds wonderfully easy.
But our preschool has been such a huge force in our families life. It's where I learnt to let my children fly, it's where I met some of the most amazing people I've ever met, it's been as nurturing and loving towards me as it has towards my children. And I will miss it!
Today is also the day I no longer have a 'preschooler'. I'm now the mother of two school aged children! And with that I will suddenly have 5 days a week without either of them! I feel lonely even thinking about it.
I've had as hard a road parenting young children as most mothers. But I love the time I spend with my kids. I do not worry about how I'll cope during holiday time because even with the trials and tribulations of three people spending a bit to much time together, we all also love being together.
So as I write this, I have one hour left of being a preschool mum! And I wanted to spend it putting a little thank you out into the cyber cosmos for giving us the gift of such an amazing place for our children and I to grow in.
Life moves forward no matter how much you sometimes wish it would stand still. And today is one of those days!
Thank you Marcia, Simone, Kim, Su, Tina, Elena, Renu, Renata, Emma, Sandra and Leanne. At least a dozen times over the last five years I have seen you love my children and I have felt you love me. I will forever be thankful for what you have given us all xx

Facing Your Fears

A month ago we got a note home from school with the details for Jacks yearly musical extravaganza. Whilst I was talking to him about what they were doing he said intently "mumma, I really really don't want to do it". He went on to talk about the fact that he didn't want to dress up because the costume was wearing all black and then wearing red underpants over the top of his clothes.
Jack spent the first 4 years of his life almost constantly naked. But as he has gotten older he has become quite a private boy when it comes to his body.
He was completely beside himself at the idea of having to wear his knickers in front of the whole school (and honestly, who can blame him). So I approached the teacher and she agreed it was a bit uncool and spoke to the music teacher and the costume was changed to red shorts or skirts over black.
Great I though, now he can enjoy doing his concert. But alas! He was still concerned. I talked further with him about why, but in true Jack way (or perhaps it's a six year old boy way) he couldn't put his finger on why, sometimes it was that he couldn't remember the song, other times it was that he didn't know what shoes to wear, once it was because he was tired (two weeks before) and on it went. Finally I got it! He was nervous about getting up on stage and performing.
He is actually great at public speaking and gets very positive feed back on his speeches and class presentations but this was different, this was singing and dancing (and as it turned out, playing maracas) in front of half the school and he was freaking out.
Again in true Jack style, once it was pointed out that the whole class was performing he stopped trying to find ways to not do it because he didn't want to let the class down. But there was no way he was going he was going to embrace it!
The afternoon of the performance Jack was beside himself trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to wear. He changed pants twice, shoes three times, and spent a record amount of time in front of the mirror fiddling with his hair.
Finally we rocked into school, ate sausages and waited for the extravaganza to start. Jack had chilled out but gave me an extra long cuddle as I went to leave him to get ready. I could feel how nervous he was. The energy around him was positively electric. And I watched him with such pride, I mean there was no asking not to do it or clinging to my leg. Just a little boy making a decision to do something even though the idea of it scared him.
The performance was ... cute, as all kids singing and dancing are. Jack started slowly and then caught my eye and grinned. Together, Hamish and I standing at the side of the hall and Jack on stage, we grinned, danced, sang and shook our maracas. He didn't take his eyes off Hamish and I and sweetly, I realised he was trying extra hard because we were watching and loving him doing it.
Later that night as he lay in bed, I asked him how he felt about the extravaganza. He was quiet and then he said "you know mumma, I really didn't want to do the music extravaganza. I was scared to get up on stage, but I had a lot of fun! I'm so glad I did it".
And so once again my kids have taught me a life lesson. Some of the best things in life come from being scared and doing it anyway. And you know what! if a six year old boy can do it .... What's stopping me? Or you? Or anyone?
So next time I think of not doing something because it's out of my comfort zone, I'm going to have to remember Jack and the music extravaganza. Because goodness knows I can't possibly be outdone by my six year old .... although sometimes I wonder if I already have been, and if that's not part of the point of good parenting anyway.
Watching - It's zombie season once again, Season 2 of the walking dead.
Listening - Triple J whilst painting.
Reading - I have not picked up anything in days.
State of mind - Tonight I'm very tired but quietly content.

Stop Right Where You Are!

Today as I was pondering over what to do with two new school shirts I bought that I think are too small for Jack, Hamish said to me "it's ok mummy, just keep them till I start school next year". My initial reaction was to laugh and then I realized ... Holy cow!! He's right.
My little man is starting school in less than nine months! It's made me feel like I want to relive that whole nine months in, nine month out idea that is talked about a lot in early parenting.
For those that haven't heard about it, it's the idea that after being pregnant for nine months, you give the baby nine months to get used to the outside world but doing things like feeding on demand and being in physical contact by baby wearing etc. It's basically the idea that you let the child learn separation from mummy in a similar time frame to pregnancy.
I'm not as panicked about school this time as I was with Jack at the same countdown point but I do want to try and make sure I soak up the last of the time I have my baby home with me. I do want to hold him a little tighter tonight as I have become aware that soon he will be moving to the next stage of development ... The one where I have to let go a little.
Saying that he is going to be so ready for school! He is already enjoying the direction and guidance from the preschool teachers. And in the last few weeks he has started sounding out words like cat, cold, hot, mummy and little. He asked me to help him read like Jack reads a reader every night. So I asked Jack's teacher if I could borrow a few of the lowest level of reader and now every night he is reading us these basic books. He can count to 100, and knows what the numbers up to 100 look like when written. But more than just the educational parts of school he has also spent a lot of time in the last few months trying to make well balanced friendships, working on learning to follow directions (mine, his brothers, preschools and friends) and just basically trying to learn to be a more calm and helpful little boy.
And it's working! This little man who has been ... Umm ... difficult, irrational, emotional, manic, wildly and passionately loving, and full of more ups and downs than anyone I have ever met, is trying.
My heart sings for him and for me. Firstly I can't quite imagine how much nicer it must be for him to feel in control of himself more often. It's certainly more relaxed in our home. And although if he's tired, or over stimulated we can have nutty moments .... Well let's be honest we all have those and if we expect our children to survive ours then the least they can expect is for us to ride theirs out with them.
So anyway I digress, nine months in? At almost 5? I think it can be done and in a way I think both of us need it to be done. I wish I could tell time to 'stop right where you are' for a moment, before the real countdown to school begins. I hope the next nine months goes slowly. I hope we can find the time and energy to nurture each other a bit more and have these last nine months continue the way the beginning of this year started. Let the countdown begin!!
Watching - The new Doctor Who eps
Listening - Whatever comes up when I pick shuffle on my iPhone
Reading - Decided to finish reading Zombies vs Unicorns'
State of mind - Pretty chilled considering AB is away, feeling a bit more besotted with my kids than usual and generally pretty damn content with the life I have. Ahh the bliss!! :)

More Thoughts About School

It's week seven of the school term and things are starting to settle in. I now know which activities/extra lessons are on which day.
Italian Class - Tuesday
Jacks News Day - Wednesday
Library - Thursday
Religion - hmm I think its Friday (out of the seven or so religions to choose from we chose Buddhism).

Jack has also started kissing me in the playground and going into class on his own. This stared two weeks ago with the bold statement
"Its ok mummy, I'll just kiss you here and go in by myself".

I am getting used to having to be out of the house by 8.45am five days a week which for a while I thought would never happen.

And the tiredness has started.

It's one of the uncomfortable side effects of Jack/kids going out being busy and stimulated yet restricted for five days in a row. Some days its fine, some days it comes out as sadness about everything (your not buttering my toast right, Hamish looked at me funny, I don't like these shorts). Other times it is coming out as anger. This is the more difficult one to cope with.

Jack is normally such an even tempered little guy.  In fact since he turned five he has become even more so. So when he decides to blow a gasket it comes as a huge surprise.  Today after speaking to me in a way that I thought wasn't cool, I told him he was not allowed to play outside with the kids in our street anymore. The result was enormous. There was a slammed door, lots of tears, some yelling at the top of his voice and even telling me that I am NOT A NICE MUMMY.

I'm a big fan of releasing your emotions and understand that as a family we all yell.  What surprised me is that I am getting better at seeing this during the yelling. Today we had this exchange.

J: Its not FAAAAIIIR, I want to go out and your not letting me, you are NOT A NICE MUMMY

Me: I understand you are frustrated at the moment sweetheart, if you could just calm down we could talk about how you are feeling.

A bit more raging and the after the storm was over and the crying headache had hit (poor little guy)

Me: I know when we are angry sometimes we yell and say things that we don't mean, would you like a cuddle
J: I'm so sorry mummy, I didn't mean it. Your such a lovely mummy. I was just really sad that I didn't get to play with my friends"

Me:  "It's ok, I know you love me and I love you even when your cranky".

And not only is the storm over but the rain has sunk into the earth and the cleanup crew is almost finished tying down the tarpaulin.

I'm wondering if these emotional outbursts are going to continue through the whole school experience? How do we deal with them? Is there anyway we can help Jack deal better? And I wonder how long my cool and calm attitude to them can last?

So these are the next lot of trials and tribulations about the change school is bringing to all of our lives.

Mornings in Action

We had one of those weekends. You know the sort where you were busy but have nothing interesting to report. So instead of an interesting fact/fiction filled blog post I am going to post a picture of the boys playing before school on Friday morning.

One of the upsides of Jack being at school is that he and Hamish don't spend enough time together to get annoyed with each other anymore. So although we still have the wrestling (oh my do we have the wrestling) we have far less bickering and the boys are generally really sweet together.

That's me!!! The woman who finds the silver lining *grin* 

Conversations with a 5 year old (School, what else?)

Bedtime ...

Me: So are you loving school?
J: (wiggling in bed being a nutter) Yep! And I'm not even scared anymore.
Me: (slightly shocked as he didn't look scared at all) When were you scared baby?
J: A long time ago when you first started telling me I was going to big school I felt scared.
Me: What happened to make you not scared anymore?
J: I realised that all my friends were going to be there then I stopped being scared and just felt excited. I'm really liking school mumma (big grin)

After all the emotions of last week its these type of conversations that let me know, as hard as it was, we made the right decision for us.

Its a New Dawn .... the final countdown (warning slightly emotional post)

He lies in bed with eyes wide open asking about this and that. Where will I sit? What will I do? Who will be with me? We talk and I smile and I fake it, I fake the enthusiasm as I answer him. He sniggers about the fact that they make rules about shoes. Why do I have to wear them all day? He asks with a voice so sweet my heart melts a little more, Why are shoes so important that they need to make rules about them? thats so silly! and I laugh with him, true happy laughing and again my heart melts a little more.

So we talk about what is to come when he finally says, with sleepy eyes, I'm so excited mummy!!!

And of course I hold him tight and I say that I am so excited for him as well, excited about what he will learn and play and all the new friends he will make and there is some truth in it, but mostly I am so sad I can barely breathe. I wonder why they get to have him for so much of the week? why do they take him so young? where did the time go? please can't I have a little more time?

I know what you'll say. It's a good thing. He will be alright. He will love it. Its very normal to feel this way. You'll be fine ... and I know your right, but for tonight I don't feel fine. I will go and pack his bag and lay out his uniform and let all of my emotions pour out because tomorrow he deserves a mummy that is standing by his side beaming with excitement as he walks off to start his big adventure. Maybe tomorrow I will be fine ...

It Starts

I've been putting off blogging about Jack starting school mostly because I have been in a blissful state of denial but partially because I thought once I started I might have trouble stopping the outpouring of thought. This last week has brought me out of my happy little denial bubble as we have brought shoes and uniform and have started the countdown to D-Day next Monday.

The decision to send Jack to school has been a long one for me.  I tossed around the idea of home schooling for a long time and may well have chosen that path except for a few blinding realities:
- He wants to go to school
- AB isn't pro home schooling (except as a last resort)
- I don't feel able to home school both of my children
- Did I mention he wants to go to school

In the end it was his want and character that led me to decide to go down the school path and even though now that it is a mere 4 days away and I am wanting to back peddle at a million miles an hour and keep him home with me. In my heart of hearts I know that for the moment school is the best thing for him and our family.

So what are my concerns?
- That he will be lost in the system
- That the need for him to conform will change who he is
- That he will have a terrible time and come to dislike learning
- That he will become a little robot, or worse he will pick up so much new and unhim behaviors that I won't recognise him anymore

Mostly its about loosing freedom, his and mine. Jack is such a confident little guy and watching him walk his own path in spite of what his peers think is one of his most admirable qualities. I'm scared that school will beat that out of him, I'm scared that his free thinking ways will be lost within the system, I'm scared that he will feel different and have trouble fitting in whilst still being himself and if I'm honest I'm scared of taking this next step towards letting go of my baby and relying on people I don't know to help raise him, inspire him, and show him how the world works.

What if .... In the end its all a what if? And there are no answers to my what if's until we start walking (albeit reluctantly) down the path to school.

I hope that he loves school, I hope he finds his way and grows and learns all the things he hopes to.  I hope that his teacher will hold him if he is sad and that he will feel empowered enough to speak up both to his peers and his teachers. I hope that this time next year he is still as free thinking, confident and excited to start back for his second year.

So as my inner self is running around in circles crying "I don't want it, I want my little boy with me! Its to soon, I'm not ready, I want to protect him and enjoy him, I want ...." Its not about me and so my outer self is smiling and being excited with him, its trying to embrace the potential for positive growth, self reliance and knowledge that I hope and pray school is really about.

I try and remind myself that the ability to walk (calmly and confidently) away from me knowing all the while I am still there for him is the biggest gift I can give my children,  but I will continue crying on the inside as I say goodbye to my baby in the next of a million little goodbyes before they walk away (calmly and confidently) as an adult.

Story from a 4 Year Old

This week has been a bit rough on Jack. He is having a few issues finding his place at preschool as the social dynamics between the boys and the girls are changing. Its hard to watch him struggle and I think that it explains a lot about his behaviour over the last few weeks.

Saying that there have been a few really cool conversations that have come about as we have discussed the way he is feeling and acting.

Me: Sweetie, you know how you feel when the bigger boys are treating you like that?

Jack: Yeah

Me: So how do you think Hamish feels when you do the same stuff to him?

Jack: Pretty sad and hurt

Me: Exactly! So I think that this might be a good time to have a think about what sort of boy you want to be. Do you want to be the sort of boy that hurts people when they don't act like they want you to?

Jack: No, mummy I just want to be like myself.

To which we had a long conversation where I tried to explain how perfect and wonderful that was but within that could he also maybe stop hitting his brother (even though his brother is driving him nuts)

That night as we were going to bed Jack decided to tell me what he sees when he closes his eyes

Jack: When I close my eyes I see another planet.

Me: What do you see on that planet?

Jack: Hang on a second, I'm still trying to see. I see the planet Jupiter ... still looking ... I see that there are aliens on the planet. They look like huge spiders and they have the mouth of a goat, the head of a sheep and the feet of a pig. They are very big spider :)

Me: Are they friendly or cranky aliens?

Jack: They are all friendly except for one who is very mean, the big king spider who wears a crown decided that he was going to have to scare the mean one until it went away and then they lived happily and didn't ever see the mean one again.

Just like he is seems pretty perfect and wonderful to me *blatant motherly gush*

On the Hamish is wonderful side, the other day we had this conversation;

Hamish: Mummy, your beautiful.

Me: Thank you baby, I think your beautiful as well.

Hamish: Mummy, I love you.

Me: I know my baby, I love you too more than anything.

Hamish: Mummy, your perfect.

You could say that I have him trained well but actually he is just the sweetest thing in the whole wide world ... well he comes in tied with his brother.

Conversations with a 4 year old

This week I have started on my school freakout again, I'm pretty sure this will be a common thing until Jack has settled in and is happy in whatever decision we make.  While I was reading, thinking and writing on the topic I decided to take a break and ask Jack what he thinks

Me: Jack, you know next year you will be going to school, how do you feel about that?

(pause)

Me: I mean do you feel excited, interested, sad, scared what do you think that school will be like?

Jack: I feel .... happy and mumma and one kid might call me an underpants, but thats ok ... 

Sometimes I think the worlds problems could be solved by four year olds

Random Nothings

I have been realizing that the reason that this blog has been quiet over the last few weeks is that my life has been in this monotonous yet panicked state otherwise known as, nothing much happening but I'm still really busy.  It hasn't left my brain with time to think about things to rant or feel passionate about, its having trouble just getting dinner ready.

And even when I can think of things to blog about I just can't seem to find the time to actually sit and write. This morning we have all jumped into the car to pick something up in the city and so I have some time to update on the weeks activities, none of which on their own are blog worthy;

* Jack has hit new levels of loveliness, he stopped playing with his friends to lay down with his brother at preschool and help him go to sleep (actually this should probably be a post on its own, the teacher at preschool actually called to tell me what a divine big brother he is)
* I went with a group of kids to visit the preschool chickens and organic garden, and watched Hamish collect his first egg (see picture above)
* Andrew leaves for Vegas for a week on Thursday, its his big 40th Birthday boys bash
* Jack and I have been doing a lot of talking about mum and he asked for a photo of her by his bed, he has also been asking a lot of questions about her and assures me that she would have loved he and Hamish
* All this talk about mum has been spurred on by the fact that my aunt Naida is out for just over a week and we have been going down to spend time with her and Libby
* I'm still procrastinating on the last portions of my course, but am keenly aware that I only have a year to finish
* We had a house guest for a couple of days and it brought to the forefront just how small our house is when 2 kids 2 dogs and 3 adults are all trying to do different activities in the same space
* Yesterday we had a huge rainstorm, 2 inches of water in 20 minutes.  And in the mad rush to close windows put pots under drips and generally batten down the hatches it appears that I threw my keys in the bin, a fact I didn't realize until I had spent 15 minutes looking for them this morning, after I had covered them with dinner scraps and left them to stew overnight.

As I mentioned in a post recently, I don't want this blog to become an, updates on me and the kids, blog because really that is only going to be of interest to me the grandparents and a few random others so please bear with me as life takes a breath and I'm able to put my brain into a few more interesting things.

Preschool Days

Life passing faster than my feet
Watching you grow, and mature
Beyond my years
I will see you pass me, If I do my job well
Grow fast and strong and perfect
Building you life away from us
I will never leave you
As you will never leave my heart
So my loves fly away,(slowly)
on wings grown strong in our arms

(Not quiet poetry)

Dressed for Preschool

The boys asked for their face to be painted before preschool the other morning.  To complete Hamish ensemble he also had a large green dinosaur tail.

What's in a Preschool

Today as I was dropping Jack off to preschool I saw one of the teachers come back with 5 children all dragging some old dead branches from the park.  I wondered briefly what they were going to do with them as I went on my way.

When I got to preschool to pick Jack up this afternoon, there was this amazing structure built beneath the trees.

Ok I admit its slightly Blair Witch with the wool and stick crosses that the children made to decorate it, but its a pretty awesome structure none the less.

I love Jacks preschool, I think its a positive welcoming nurturing environment and its things like this structure that really remind me why I love it there.

What Would You Do?

I am going through the process of getting my head round Hamish starting preschool next year.  The big question is what two days should I put him in?
Points to consider;
• Preschool's rules are that for two days you can only pick from Monday-Tuesday or Thursday-Friday
• Jack goes Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday
• Hamish knows a lot of the kids on the days Jack goes
• If he goes the same days as Jack, I will get 2 days where I am child less and can study/work/actually get stuff done
• Will Hamish interfere with Jacks preschool experience?
• Will Jack interfere with Hamish's preschool experience?
• Will Jack enjoy having Hamish at preschool?
• Will Hamish settle easier with Jack being there?
• Having them in separate days means that I will get 2 days alone with Jack

At this time of night I think that's it. In a perfect world I'd love them to cross over for only one day, but its not an option, so its all or nothing.  So I'm calling for ideas, ideals and any other points I haven't thought of to help me make sense of this tangle of ideas.

"Mum, why do i go to preschool?"

I feel like we have started a new journey and I am earning my mothering badge, Why? has entered Jacks vocabulary. Its not been that confronting yet, but it's coming I can see it on the horizon. So amazing to watch as he starts exploring the universe pondering and wondering, and I'm sure it will be trying at times. If we embrace it we will learn as much as he will, as we have to explain our actions and decision and as we ponder how to explain the world.