Can't Hate Love Stupid

If you look at the media today there is a lot more swearing. It seems that every second show/song has some sort of swear word in it. This generally seems to bother a lot of parents and I can understand why ... And yet swear words are also just words.

When Jack was 3 he was told off by me for doing something or other. He obviously felt the punishment (go inside for a while) was unjust and as he stormed inside he threw his hands in the air and yelled "I'm so fucking frustrated".

I didn't get angry or worried, if anything I was impressed that my three year old could express himself so succinctly (albeit inappropriately). But it made me realize, I swear sometimes and yes sometimes it is in front of the kids.

Later once he had calmed down we had out first conversation about inappropriate language. It's a conversation that has come up now a few times with both children. But the truth is, it is rarely about words that seem to be judged as 'swear' words.

As a parent these days it seems that more and more words are considered 'bad' and truth be told I have less issue with the 'swear' words than a lot of the others. And it seems I am not alone.

One family I know doesn't allow the word 'can't' in their house as they feel the truth is you CAN do anything it's the effort that is often lacking.

In another family the word love is used sparingly, only meant for their immediate family as they feel that it is too often used these days and is watering down the meaning.

Then there are the new swear words, stupid, idiot, moron, hate, shut-up and the ever present and yet totally unexceptable (in our house) bored!!

Truth be told I would rather hear my kids say 'fuck' than say I'm bored, or I hate or call someone stupid. And more and more I don't think I'm alone. Don't get me wrong, my kids don't swear. It's interesting to me that in spite of hearing it in the media or at home somehow they both know that there are ok words and words that aren't.

In fact Jack said I word the other day (wish I could remember what it was, but it was something like damn) and afterward he looked at me thoughtfully and said "mum, is that a bad word? Cause if it was I didn't know". And so we talked about what the word meant and why it's not really one of the words that kids should say, and how maybe we shouldn't use any word it we don't exactly know what it means.

And that was it, we haven't heard a stupid, shit, shut-up or bloody hell out of either of our kids in many months.

And if you ask me if I think they are using these words when they are not around an adult I'd also say no. They seem to have understood the concept well enough that it is ingrained, but the truth is I don't know for sure.

And sure once in a while we will all be singing a song and suddenly I'll realize that the next word is a swear word, but I don't rush to change the channel, but I may well try and mumble my way through it. :)

What are your thoughts on swearing? Do you do it? Do your children? What's on your 'bad' words list?

Watching - True Blood S3 (good to work to)
Reading - The City and The City, China Melville
Listening - after a cranky day last week 'The Wedding Singer' soundtrack
State of mind - relaxed (I love school holidays) tired (thanks to a late night on the weekend) busy (thanks to an extra bit of work that had to be done RIGHT NOW)

PS. The above photo is of the gig I went to on Saturday. It's 'The Herd' and totally appropriate to this post as it is some of their song that my kids like to sing, swear words and all!

Todays Haul (6) Holiday Edition

Over then last two days the boys and I have browsed our favourite second hand stores for the first time in ages.  We had a few exciting scores and spent a little more than expected (just under $60), but we have also filled a few gaps. 

- 2 baskets, one for me in the kitchen, and one to hold the kids rubbers, sharpeners and other art paraphernalia. 

- 4 Pairs of shoes. I picked up (actually regifted from a friend) a pair of leather bikerish boots. Jack found a pair of yeti-like slipper boots, some olive and pink converse hi-tops, and a pair of roller boots (you know the sort with wheels on the heel, brand new looking and reduced to $10). I managed to talk Hamish out of a pair of silver footy boots that were 4 sizes to big. 

- A new hoodie for both boys who are growing out of their jumper stash fast.

- 1/2 a dozen kids books ranging from a massive how to draw book, to a book about movie monsters. 

- An adult book or two, none of which are worth mentioning.

- A pretty tin, it was $2 and I have no idea what I'm going to do with it.

- A couple of crappy little toys that the boys fell in love with and at 50c each, kept the peace. 

- A mid-length puffy jacket and groovy wool and buttons skirt for me. Both of which I plan to wear out tomorrow night. Possibly along with afore mentioned biker boots to top off my op shop looking outfit :)

I'm sure there were a few other pieces of random fluff, and once again I'm loving that feeling of a few days of browsing on a small budget and still coming home feeling like I've ticked some of the needs and wants boxes. 

To Have and To Hold

It's school holiday time!

This basically means I am dancing around and around thinking about all the extra one on one time I get to spend with the older child. And the time I don't have to spend making lunchboxes, getting cranky as I wait for them to get dressed, or leaving the house before 9am.

So what are the plans this school holidays? Well who knows. On the kids wish list there are play dates, bread baking, visiting Uncle Tool, sleep overs, peanut butter making, movie nights, and a whole lot of time together.  Personally I plan a lot of kissing, snuggling, general reconnecting and some time spent just taking it easy.

Hopefully it will also see the end of this blogger blackout I seem to be in. But who knows, blogs as with life I have decided have an ebb and flow all of their own :)

Watching - Firefly, I'm still completely astounded that this show didn't make it. Damn you Fox!
Listening - AB and the kids wrestling.
Reading - Too sleepy to read but in the bath I'm reading 'The Chrysalides'. It's one of 1/2 a dozen books I tend to read yearly.
State of mind - Singing ... 

Tight Rope Walking

I'm cranky ...

There doesn't seem to be much to do about it but acknowledge it and wait for it to pass. But it strikes me as funny that these moods swings seem to overtake us all at times and yet there is very little we can do about it.

Sure I have reasons for being cranky, none of which are either blogworthy or blogappropriate but still, I don't want to be cranky!!

What are your 'tools' for getting over being cranky? I'm thinking a bath, another glass of wine, a good book, and maybe (if I can convince the huzby to go out) some chocolate.

One of the things that are going round my cranky brain is;

This is one of the most challenging times of life!

Now if anyone of the older generation is reading, please feel free NOT to correct me. But otherwise as far as I can see the challenges of;

- Raising and giving yourself to young children
- Earning enough money to both live now and set up the groundwork for the future
- Keeping relationships healthy during this period
- Keeping yourself healthy during this period

Seem like a lot of work and reasons to be cranky!

Truth be told, this is also the best and most beautiful time of life. When you think about it;

- Raising and giving yourself to young children
- Making and nurturing friendships
- Nurturing yourself as it changes dramatically with the above challenges
- Enjoying the freedom (at times) that the money you now earn let's you have.

Are all great and wonderful things. But in the end, I'm still cranky. I guess the truth is that anything worth having is worth working for and the cranky, hard times are worth it for all the good stuff that comes with it.

Hmm it might be time to hop in the bath and let the warm water wash away the cranky. And feel blessed that even on a cranky day, where I feel like I am walking a tight rope, I know in my heart of hearts this is the best time of life as well.

Watching - 1st new of of True Blood S4
Listening - The Grates
Reading - Rosemary's Baby (for the 2nd time)
State of Mind - Cranky ..... Very very cranky :)

Great things in my Week

Oh hello blog! I sort of forgot about you for a moment.

Truth be told, I've been so busy that any thoughts beyond what to do in the
next moment have been few and far between. But a few bloggable things have
come up (none that are whole post worthy)

1. I have a bit of work at the moment via the huzbys company. It's mostly
computer bound in front of TV stuff, as long as I don't want to pay much
attention to the TV. I'm happy to be doing it, as it both gives me the
feeling of helping ABs business and the knowledge that I'm helping to bring
in some dosh.

2. Jack seems to be on a role as far as difficult discussions at the
moment. We have had talks about;
- circumcision
- death
- transvestites
- Hitler
- Mummy and daddy having sex to conceive him

3. Crazy massive girls night out ... Speaks for itself really.

4. One day, two boxes delivered, both had beautiful new shoes. Huzzah! The
first were replacement sheepskin boots so my feet are warm again. The second
were the above divine slippers, bought and sent to me from my darling BFF.
I'm in love!!

Hopefully I'm back in the land of the living for a while. But no promises :)

Watching - Game of Thrones.

Listening - Skipping Girl Vinegar (Melbourne Indie band) thinking about
buying their album.

Reading - Sandman Vol 7

State of mind - Soooo tired but satisfied.

Paper, Scissor, Rock

Every relationship has it's tools that help the relationship run more smoothly.

In our house its paper, scissor, rock. 

You may think of it as a child's game, but trust me, if we come to an impasse it is solved with relative ease because of it.

Can't decide who's turn it is to walk up to the shop for desert?
Kids can't come to an agreement as to what movie to watch, or what they want for dinner?
Can't pick a direction, or an event, or what form of entertainment to choose?

What simpler way to make simple (yet difficult) decisions in a way that everyone feels is fair.   It seems to help solve many of those little issues that could well become bigger if we started arguing about it.  And I love watching the boys use it as a way of bargaining and settling differences of opinion.

So I may say, "are you going up to buy chocolate?" and AB will answer "paper scissor rock" (or just put out his fist ready to start).  No arguing, no reminding each other of who's turn it is, or why the other should have to go, just 1, 2, 3, GO! and the decision is made by fate, or the gods or whatever you believe.

There is but one rule, you can never dispute the outcome.  If you are unwilling to uphold the paper, scissor, rock decision, then don't play!

What tools do you have?

And We Are Home.

3.5 days away feels like ages before you leave and no where near long enough when you get home.
Ups -
1. I got to read uninterrupted for hours
2. The kids spent just as long searching the shale rocks on the edge of the river looking for fossils
3. Chatting the night away drinking red wine and laughing
4. Sitting in the sun, watching birds, the dogs and kids play. Getting bugs out of the pool, running with the dogs, and generally being out in open spaces
5. Watching the dog swimming laps in the pool not caring about the freezing weather
6. Watching AB make a fire with the boys every night and the kids be fixated by it
7. The general sense if peace and well being that watching your family (and friends) all be in their own happy place brings
Downs -
1. Kid weeing in his sleeping bag
2. Dog vomiting on his bed, twice
3. Me spending one night with gastro
4. The cold and rain (although this was made easier by the fire and the indoor spaciousness)
5. The dog whining incessantly about being in the car, wanting to swim, swimming, being cold, not being allowed to sleep in bed with us and any other manor of dog related injustices
Three and a bit days just didn't feel like enough. I may need to impose on out friends again soon. I am glad to be home, but I'm sure I would have been gladder had I had a few more days to rest, relax and feel free :)

Watching - the world pass me by

Listening - kids playing, dogs whining, people laughing and the tension in my back releasing.

Reading - Game of Thrones, 4000 ebook pages long. I may be reading it for a while.

State of mine - I had a wonderful time but a few extra day would have been great. There were a few bits and pieces I didn't get to finish ... My book for one.

Hit the Frog and Toad.

We are heading out of Sydney for the Queens birthday long weekend. As always when getting ready to go away, I'm slightly apprehensive. How will the kids cope with the longish drive? or more accurately how will we cope with what the kids dish out on the drive? Will the dogs get car sick again? What will the weather be like? Will everyone 'gel' so that we actually get to relax and chill out?
We will have to wait and see. The car is packed to the rafters with a random assortment of clothes (from swimmer to thermal underwear), bedding, toys, books, art supplies, food, dogs beds and anything else I though we may need over the next few days. We 'could' have packed lighter but realistically it will be easier to relax if we have everything we need.
We are about 1/3 of the way through the drive, kids have eaten all their food, dogs have finally stopped whining in anticipation, we've stopped once for petrol and twice for someone needing the toilet.
So far it seems like my idea of the perfect family mini break. Wish us good weather, vibes and food!!
Xx

Watching - The road...

Listening - Kids quietly bickering.

Reading - Traffic signs.

State of mind - So glad to be getting out of Sydney for a few days.

Follow up on the Apocolypse

Just in case you thought that I was the only one who thought about this whole apocalypse thing.  Here is a link to an article '5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen'.

PS.  Mostly this shows that I am not the only one who's brain goes off in these fanciful directions.

The Apocalypse Plan

I've been on zombie kick recently. It was unintentional and sort of crept up on me.  Before I knew it I was watching zombies on TV, reading zombie comics and falling asleep reading a zombie book. No need to mention that afterwards I felt a little tense. Every bump, scratch or creak was enough to give me the heebie jeebies.

And so I lay awake wondering, do you have an apocalypse plan?

A while ago I wrote a post on what end of the world movies have taught me. But thing that didn't come up is how do you make it through the first few days/weeks.

With fear of sounding like some conspiracy theorist (which I promise I am not) crazy stuff can happen. A few years ago I was sitting at home with my two young babies and there came a news report that there was a suspected terrorist plot to blow up something in Sydney. And I thought ... What if?

Now I wasn't about to run out and stock up on canned goods and bottled water. Or build a self sufficient bomb shelter. But it did make me think. 


Then we had the whole swine flu / bird flu epidemic (I use that term loosely) and again I thought ... What if?

So I came up with my apocalypse plan. Just imagine, your at work, the kids are in school, hubby's on a bike trip in the mountains and KAPOW! bombs, tidal wave, meteors, zombies, deadly virus, aliens, if your even just a little into sci-fi you will be aware of how many ways the world as we know it could come to an end.  So following is my apocalypse plan:

1. If we are not together it is important to have a meeting place pre-organised.  Personally I have picked a place that is within an hours drive of home but far enough out of Sydney that we should be able to wait for a day or so for each other.  If you are separated by a lot of distance it also gives you a place to leave a message to tell each other where your heading. Obviously the most important thing is to be to try and find each other and quickly! And know your exits! Every route possible to get you from point A to point B.

2. Make sure you have a vehicle that can make it over various terrains and has a lot of space. You'd think I'd pick ABs 4wd but after some thinking my car has almost as much internal space, is a light 4wd and uses less petrol.

3. Know what to pack. Medicine, canned goods and warm clothes come first.  If it's a zombie or alien threat, then as many things that can be used as weapons as possible is high on the list as well. Sturdy shoes, blow up mattress and sleeping bags. Really you want to pack like your never coming back but also like your going to be camping for a REALLY long time. So also think of things like matches, a cooking pot, torches etc.  Lucky for us we have a great camping setup so I'd just grab all that gear.  I'm sentimental but things like photos and jewelry are completely unimportant. This is life and death :)

4. Water and extra petrol. We have a water jerrycan and a petrol jerrycan.  Fill both and use sparingly. Make sure the water is drinkable and enough to last at least a week or two.

5.  Know of all the places within a few days drive (at least) that are either self sufficient and/or enclosed. Which one you pick depends in the threat. Zombies! Gated community (heavily protected places would also do, think prisons, research facilities, army barracks)  Plague! Self sufficient communities (think solar power, tank or bore water, good farming land)

After all of that, it's luck.  Hopefully your preparation has put you in good stead. Good luck and enjoy the apocalypse!! :)

(p.s. People that know me will not be at all surprised that I have actually thought about this. People that don't ... Well now you know me better *grin* but don't worry I'm truly not a conspiracy theorist)

Watching - too many zombie movies.

Reading - too many zombie comics and books.

Listening - the national 'about today' has been played a lot over the last few days.

State of mind - to some of you, completely paranoid, to others perfectly prepared and to the rest nowhere near prepared enough.