Baby Bear v Big Bear

I noticed the other week that most during my night time cuddles with Jack most of the time he has adopted a new position. I am no longer the one with my arms around him and his head on my chest. He now slides his arm under my neck and my head winds up on his chest.

When I noticed this role reversal a surge went through me. I wanted to reposition us so the we were the 'right' way round. I am the mother after all and shouldn't I be curling him up in my arms, not the other way around. But I left it because as I thought about it, this was something that had been going on for a while and I had only just noticed. It seemed silly to think about, as cuddles are cuddles and as long as we chatted and giggled nighttime cuddles should be able to be anything.

Tonight as we had our nighttime cuddles Jack could get comfortable and I asked him "well do you want to be the big bear or the baby bear" he very quickly replied "the baby bear" so we readjusted ourselves so I was cuddling him versus the other way round but after a few minutes he readjusted himself to be cuddling me again.

I looked up and him and smiled and said "So you do want to be the big bear?" and he replied "not yet mum, not yet"

Sometimes You Can't Take it Back.

Last week a friend of mine reminded me of a story. The story of my most embarrassing moment ever.

I mean we all have one of those right? Those moments where everything just fell into place in such a way that 20, 40, 100 years later you still cringe a little to think of it.

Here is mine:

I can't exactly tell you why or how but as part of the first year of my degree at university we had a lecture listening to Brett Whiteleys wife talk about him as an artist and his life,
just a short time after he had died.

Now I have to tell you I didn't go to university to study art. I was doing a Bachelor of Arts degree but focusing on gender studies. So how I found myself at this lecture I couldn't tell you.

But there I sat at the back of this massive amphitheater tired and bored and not at all being where I wanted to be. In fact if memory serves me right my boyfriend at the time was waiting outside in my car waiting to pick me up.

So I sat and listened to what the other 400-500 people in the theater probably found incredibly inspirational and inspiring. But I was day dreaming ... looking around ... Not really listening. And then in the wall behind my head ........ I saw a hole.

It was just a little hole. But it didn't look like an accidental hole. And I stared at it wondering what it could be. At first I though maybe it was connected to the lights so I waved my hand in front of it, but no.

So I sat there with my head rested back on the headrest of my chair looking at that hole and for some reason reached up and put my finger in it.

There was nothing in the hole. Not a bolt or a latch, it was just a hole that for some reason was above my head and skinnier than had thought as my finger got a little stuck ....

And then

I was in a spot light

Because while I was thinking about the hole above my head, I had missed that Brett Whiteleys widow had just asked "Does anyone have any questions?"

So the spotlight had seen me, with my arm stretched above my head and all the four to five hundred people (some of which had been crying during the emotional lecture) turned and looked at me as she said "yes, you in the back"

I froze for a second and then, because I couldn't think of what else to say said ...

"Oh, ummm no I've just got my finger stuck in this hole"

I can't tell you exactly what happened next. I know my friends next to me definitely started giggling uncontrollably, but trying to do it quietly. The spotlight definitely turned off me. All I remember with complete clarity is how I felt like I wished I could melt into the chair and ooze my way out of the theatre.

But that's it ... My most embarrassing moment ever. Funny how often I think about it. I guess it's part of what makes me me. And if I learnt anything from it it's just, make sure your head is in the same place as your body or else.

What's yours?