That is how this how this last two weeks have felt. Pelting along ahead of me, with me struggling (but somehow managing) to keep up.
This blog was one of the things that got lost in the rush. I had such plans of outlining this trip to India. Where we were going and what I hoped to get from it. As well as how I was feeling as I moved towards not only the trip, but branching out on my own and away from the children.
But it was not to be. So as I type I am sitting on a plane headed towards Nepal.
Yesterday morning Andrew the kids and I went out for breakfast. It was probably the first time in over a week where we had all spent some quiet time together and suddenly I had this huge realization. OMG ... I'm going away this afternoon! I'm going away from Andrew and leaving him to look after our children to a degree he has never experienced before. I'm going away from my children, for such a long period. Will they be ok without me singing them to sleep? Will their dad be able to soothe them. I mean it took me 5+ years to work out ways to live with, guide and soothe them ? I'm also going away from my day to day self, without the usual things binding me and holding me to the ground. Will I fly? Or crash? Is it possible to do both?
After a morning of trying to keep my emotions under control those goodbyes at the airport were surreal. I hugged them all and said a hundred I love you's. Kissed enough kisses to last them the 16 nights when mummy doesn't put them to bed and extra kisses for their hearts for when they are sad.
And off we walked, through the hole in the wall ...
So far it's been a mixture of planes and airports. But still it's all part of the joys of travel. It's not yet been 24 hours since we left home, and a few hours to go before we set foot in Kathmandu. I'm sure there will be follow-up homesick posts. Today though I am feeling a little lost but happy. Excited and scared. Tired and yet to hyper to sleep.
Honorable mentions so far:
- the guy I was sitting next to was easy going and friendly enough that there were no uncomfortable issues. Except that he made this little tent with his blanket to sleep in and I wondered if it was because Trish and I were talking to much.
- we were wandering slowly to our gate in Sydney airport and then suddenly realised it was last call for our flight and we had a LONG way to run to get there.
- choosing the Asian vegetarian menu for all flights without thinking that such a large amount of legumes eaten in a confined space could be problematic.
- accidentally finding ourselves in the lounge where you are meant to pay to access and sleeping there without paying. (we didn't use any of the other facilities though and so I think when they saw us they let it go)
- we got the emergency exit seats on the Silk Air flight to Nepal.
Upside - we get LOADS more leg room, and TWO tray tables (hey on an airplane you take what upsides you can get)
Downsides - you can't recline your chair so have to sleep totally upright. Ok for Trish who has her little blowup neck pillow. But I keep falling forward as I try to sleep. We also had the air hostess give us a 5 minute speech about what we have to do in case of an emergency. Basically it consisted of the pilot yelling Evacuate! Evacuate! And then Trish and I have to open the emergency hatch (after checking for smoke, fire, or blockages) and make sure the bouncy slide deploys. If it doesn't we have to proceed to step 2 and manually deploy the bouncy slide. The whole time the air hostess was talking I kept thinking two things. 1. Truly nothing (even extra leg room) is free and 2. Isn't it kinda the hostesses job to get the plane organized in an emergency. What happens if the pilot yells Evacuate! And I'm so terrified I want to hide under the seat. I don't think I'm made for emergency exit seating. Hmm I guess that's the first thing I've learnt about myself on our trip to India. I wonder what the next will be.
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