Monday, 27 September 2010

Now What?

Last week I got my final marks back for the Childbirth Educators course that I have been doing on and off for the last 18 months. The modest me wants to say that I am pleased. The less modest me feels completely stoked, not only that I am finished, but that all the way through I got good marks and great comments.

As I submitted the last bits I started wondering why it had taken me so long to finish it in the first place? I was getting good marks, I found the work interesting and I had the time.

A millions questions went through my head. Now that I'm not a student anymore does that mean I'm just a mum? Now that I've finished, what do I do with it? Do I go back to work? How/where do I go back to work? Do I want to even do this anymore?

After a few days of pondering I realised that the main reason was that I was afraid to finish studying was that I felt I now had to answer the question 'now what?'.

'Now what?' Is one of of those questions that comes up in everyones life once in awhile. It is usually accompanied by two distinct feelings, fear and excitement.

My dad and Inge had a similar 'now what?' moment recently. After much though and pondering they decided that their answer was selling up and moving state. It's an amazing thing to watch your parents decide that the best thing to do is to challenge the 'now what?' and see where it takes them.

I think often when we have a 'now what?' moment we decide that it's all to hard to make any major changes, or we don't see a clear path. So we wait and hope that something will come up. But what happens if your still waiting?

Have a think, has your life hit a stagnant place? Do you find yourself thinking 'now what?', what are you going to do about it?

I hope that I find the answer to my 'now what?'. I hope that I can see a clear answer. And if a path doesn't seem clear, then I hope I can be brave enough to throw everything in and start walking even if I can't see the end. In fact I hope we all do!

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