Thursday, 30 April 2009

She Did Not Wear White

She is standing at the doors of the chapel, looking down past the pews filled with people, at him waiting for her.  Her son is holding her arm, ready to walk her down the isle, she looks at him and thinks about how handsome he looks in his suit.  She is glad that he doesn't look like his father, she can look at him and not remember the hard years she spent with the wrong man.  She is not wearing white, he is not her first, but she believes that he will be her last.

She has been thinking about this day for months, maybe even years. She walks slowly and dares to look at the faces staring at her in the crowd, friends and family and people she barely knows.  She thinks about the choice of flowers, about the words she is going to say and she looks at him, waiting for her.

He always waited for her, even within the arguments that would raise the roof, he was slow to rise and easy to placate and as she stormed and ranted he sat quietly and waited for a break in the storm, where he could come and kiss away her anger and fears.

She walked slowly, and the fear set in, in her mind she thought over the what if's, and the how to's, she wondered if she could change her mind, if she could bargain her way out, but then she looked, and saw him and knew that her heart was waiting before her, she had loved him for many years and would love him for the rest of her life.

She let go of her sons hand, walked towards him and gently placed her hand on him, then she walked to the podium and looked at the crowd and said simply, with tears rolling down her cheeks;

"There is so much I could say, but time will not allow the retelling of a life lived to the full, so I will simply say, I'll miss you all the days of my life, I love you, drive safely my love"

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