Saturday, 9 May 2009

Mothers Day

I have been thinking a lot recently about mothers.  We all only have one mother, but many of us, me included, were raised by a lot of women, and so on this Mothers Day even I would like to make note of all of the women who were instrumental in raising me.

Of course firstly there is my mother, I have spoken about her in length on the blog. I have raved about what a wonderful mother she was, about how much I miss her in my and my children's lives, mostly I hope that I have conveyed what an amazing spirit and woman she was.  She thought it was as important that I cared for others as it was that I stood up for myself, that I could apply eyeliner as well as I could change a car tire and mostly she did everything in her power to make sure that I felt safe, nurtured and free as a child, person and woman.

There is my stepmother.  She is intelligent, strong, and elegant, most people that know her though would be most taken with her humour and her laugh, that can make a room stand still just so that they can laugh with her.  I am thankful for her being in my life and the lessons she has taught me about life and being a woman.  She taught me how to hold myself, how to love my dad, what fork to use when, and so many life lessons big and small that I can not imagine my life without her.

There is my Aunt Libby, she has always been the woman I could turn to when I was in more trouble than I was willing to talk to mum about, she opened her house and heart to me many times, reminded me that although I was an only child I had a family that was willing to accept me and love me no matter what.

There are the 2 mothers of my childhood friends.  One who gave me a lot of love and acceptance but also by being so different from the other women around me, she gave me a another perspective, even though I don't agree with it, it certainly made for a well rounded way of thinking, with things like 'don't clink your fork on your teeth or boys will think badly of you' she was also the first one to tell me I either needed to start wearing a bra or stop wearing a white shirt.  The other is up there with the strongest women I know, she taught me to think outside the square, that love comes in many forms, sometimes its not about hugs and cuddles but about challenges and even some well placed criticism.  The relationship between her and her husband was something to be admired and her openness and expressiveness has always (especially during the formative years) shaped and guided the way I think.

There are also the 100s of other women that came in and out of my life during my childhood and adolescents, each one of them left an idea, or feeling, admiration, or lesson that has formed the basis of who I am.

Finally, a few photos of my mum.  Happy Mothers day mum ... everyday you were part of my life made me into who I am, and I will always feel the space that your death left in my heart and in my children's lives.  Thank you, I love you, always.


Kim said...

I think I've got a matching photo as that last one of you. You're in the exact same outfit.

It's uncanny how much my Mara looks like you :)

Wondering Willow said...

Probably, we were on holidays in Dubbo so i would imagine dad taking loads of photos and sending them out. Its funny and kinda nice that you think Mara looks like me, seeing that I don't think either of my kids look like me, at least one child in my greater family does, saying that though i always think that Mara looks like you, but then again you and i do look alike as well :)

Shereen said...

Lots of love- it is so nice that you can acknowledge the love and power given to you by other women whilst keeping your mother in your heart. I thought of you on Mothers Day, thankyou for sharing this.

Wondering Willow said...

Hey Shereen, I thought about you a lot on mothers day, how did it go for you this year? it was very cathartic to remember that I have a lot of strong women in my life and as much as i miss mum all the time, she gave me a great foundation to be able to move forward without her and become one of those strong women myself. Hugs to you xx

Shereen said...

You have been a big influence to me since losing my mum, a lot of what you have written has helped me through. Sometimes I wonder why I can't seem to get past it like others seem to be able to, it is still an incredibly pivotal and significant factor within my life. You show me that it is normal to feel the way I do. Thankyou- I can say you are definitely one of those strong women for me.

Wondering Willow said...

Gosh Shereen, that actually made me tear up :) its humbling to think that as I explore my own loss it might be helpful to someone else. Like parenthood losing your matriarch (or anyone you are very close to) is such a huge journey, I'm glad that i know someone else who has been through it as well xx

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