Saturday, 22 May 2010

10 Lessons for this Week

1. If your littlest boy is going to preschool on a rainy day, pack more than 2 pairs of spare pants. Be aware that putting gum boots on a three year old means they will believe its ok to jump in every puddle, even if the puddles are deeper than their boots are high.

2. If the above child has a cold then he won't be well rested. This will probably mean that he will decide to do the exact opposite of anything you ask him to do. With this in mind do NOT ask him not to jump in puddles again today or not to stand in the rain. If you choose not to take this advice see lesson one and pack extra pants, tops, jumpers, hats, socks and underwear.

3. If you need to help a friend get her cat put to sleep because of a broken leg it would be best not to take two boys under four with you. If you have to, be aware that they will not feel the reverence of the situation and will more than likely run a muck while you are trying to love and support the cat and her owner.

4. There is nothing more interesting to children under four than a dead animal. And no matter how loved the above animal was, they will still want to see what happens when they pull the cats tail and poke it in its eyes. Best to plan where you will put the dead cat once you bring it home to help alleviate these problems.

5. If you decide to leave 'it' till tomorrow then tomorrow will inevitably be extraordinarily busy. This includes doing the groceries, washing your hair, or catching up on the latest Doctor Who episode. Do it today or else you will still have grubby hair, no food, and be a week behind your favourite TV show a days later.

6. If you buy extra dog food because its on sale find a place to store the bags quickly. If you don't you WILL find that the dogs have spread 30kg of dog food all over the floor. You will then have to spend the next hour scooping it back up.

7. During rainy weather make sure that when the kids feed the dogs they put the lid back on the dog food BEFORE it starts to rain. Otherwise you will walk out the next morning to find $50 worth of wet, rancid dog food that you then have to spend an hour scooping up and throwing away.

8. If you dislike casserole then no matter how much red wine you put in it you will still dislike casserole. Although you will get massive amounts of 'wife' brownie points for making him casserole when he knows how much you don't like eating it.

9. Do not be surprised if if during the week you decide not to go ahead with your building plans, one or all of the following happens;
a. You walk out to find a light fitting on fire
b. It rains for 5 days straight to remind you of just how many leaks you house currently has
c. Because of the above rain the mice that you thought you finally outwitted decide to come home again.

10. When the above happens there are two ways to deal with it. Either go back over your plans and rethink. Or put your head in the sand and decide to take separate holidays. I'm going to India in November and Andrew is tossing up either riding a motorbike across the Simpson desert or across Vietnam. The mice can have the house. It will probably flood or burn down while we are away anyhow.

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