Time Passes ...

My aunt, after 7 years of fighting and living with cancer, died this week. I have written a lot of posts about her journey and mine.  But truly there are very few words that seem appropriate when someone dies, so this is going to be brief.  Watching and sharing her journey has been life changing and eye opening.  I have learnt more about myself, the process of aging, getting sick, and of family than I would have thought possible.

So go gently Aunty Lib and thank you for the years of love and for openly sharing this journey with us all.  I hope you felt us all surrounding you with love in these last years, months and days.  Give mum a kiss from me xx

- Alison Krass and Gillian Welch - I'll Fly Away

(Oh and by the way, I know that she would have hated this photo, but I love it and due to my substantial lack of digital photos of her, this is the one I'm going with :)

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

From This...

To This...

In 15 mad mummy minutes.

Family ... In All Shapes

When a member of your family gets old there are a number if things you can do. You could put them out to pasture, get rid of them, or you could take them in, nurture their body and hope they get to live with you until they die peacefully at home surrounded by loved ones.

Meet the newest member of our family. My dad and Inges old car. Now normally I don't get excited about cars. But I have loved this car for as long as dad has had it. I started driving it not long after I got my license and always hoped that one day we would have a car just like it.

When dad mentioned a few months ago that when they moved the didn't think they were going to take their old car, he asked if I knew anyone who would be interested in it. I instantly jumped at the idea knowing that Andrew had been talking about downsizing his car (obviously not literally).

Now to be honest I didn't want it to be my main car. Let's face it I live in the city and the smaller and zippier the car the easier it is to drive round here. But it's such a grand old beast and for that 'once in a while' I love that I can jump in and rumble along in it.

Moving On

I mentioned earlier that dad and Inge are moving to Maleny. Well tomorrow is moving day. So yesterday Andrew and I went up and picked up a few bits we were taking (happily) off their hands. In particular their old car (more about that later). 

As we were driving up the Northern Beaches something hit me ... This could be the last time for a long time that I drive up here.

I have driven up to dads regularly since I got my license. And the drive felt like driving home. Of course being the big sook that I am, once I had this thought I became a blubbering mess.

When dad first mentioned moving away people asked me how I felt about it. The answer was always the same. I'm excited for him and thrilled that they have chosen to throw caution to the wind and trying something new. I knew without a doubt that dad, Inge and I will always be close in spite of whatever geographical distance there may be between us. And yet on the drive up there I felt like I was saying goodbye. Not to them so much (although partially) but to a familiar and comfortable part of my life. The idea that if things ever get tough. There was somewhere I could just jump in the car and drive to (and be there within an hour and a half). 

I know that part of them moving away means that we may see each other more as we will go up there to stay for a day or more instead of the normal 4 hour catch ups we do every few months. And so there are some benefits to the distance.  But still, I'll miss my daddy.

As always dad had just the right words to soothe the part of me that found itself feeling like it was five again. And now I know that I am excited and proud but a small part of me is sad for myself and my kids that they are leaving and wondering what and how our relationship will change and develop as we find our way around the geographical distance.

So it's not really a goodbye (although it may be for the northern beaches) it's bon voyage, enjoy the trip that you are taking from the norm. See you on the flip side. 

(now excuse me while I go off and get a little teary, but with a smile on my face) 

8th Wonder of the World

On Sunday Andrew went for one of his (all day) bike rides. As usual this meant that he left at the crack of dawn. When the kids and I got up not long after dawn we all realized that there was a distinct lack of breakfast items, including and most importantly, milk for my Sunday morning coffee.

I asked the kids if they wanted to go out for breakfast which was met with a resounding no! And then I asked if they wanted to go out for pancakes. Hamish wanted an explanation of what pancakes were exactly and Jack wanted to know if he could have "the stuff that's like honey, but not honey" (maple syrup) on them. After a quick description and a yes about the syrup we were on our way. It was such a pleasure introducing the boys to what could be considered the 8th wonder of the world ... Pancakes with bacon and maple syrup ...

Zen and the Art of Queueing.

And so it has begun. Today I am waiting in the India Passport and Visa Service Centre. When I arrived (about 50 minutes ago) they were up to number B314 with one woman serving the Bs as far as I can tell. They are now up to number B328. I am B347.

Luckily this didn't come as a complete surprise. Dad had warned me and so I brought a few bits to do. But at the same time I, ever the believer that these things won't happen to me, am still slightly shocked.

And then I started thinking, if I am shocked at the queue in the visa office, how am I going to handle India itself.

But I realised that although I'm surprised at the queue (and the fact that I am hungry, thirsty and just had to use my last tissue whilst squatting over the wee covered toilet isn't helping) I'm not stressed, I'm not even feeling impatient. Mostly I am amused, both by my own bravado "I'll just pop in babe it might even be worth you waiting" and by how very India even the visa office is.

So with 23 days to go before we leave, I'm glad I have this little insight into myself. And I'm hoping I'll be able to find a little of this zen attitude further down he track.

Ooh I'd better go we're at B331, I may be out of here by dinner time.

Great things from my week (Holiday edition)

1.  The fruit on the blackberry bush in our street has finally ripened.  We have all got stained feet, hands and lips from gorging.

2.  After much excitement and very little planning Jack and Hamish enjoyed their first friend sleepover.  It was pretty sweet watching them trying to figure out sleeping arrangements and table settings.

3.  Hamish had his first sleepover.  Well actually it is currently underway.  More on that later when I a. Have more details and b. Don't feel all teary thinking about it.

(Photo care of Trish thanks to the wonders of MMS)

4.  I'm on call for my next woman with a baby due.  Sure this means I need to watch how much sleep I get and make sure that I am within the legal limit to drive.  But still its always cool to be at this stage of their journey.

5.  We've had birthday parties, play days, movies mornings (with popcorn and choc tops before 11am), snuggled on the lounge for hours, talked and tickled, read books, watched TV, climbed and run and scootered.

So far I rate these as the best holidays ever !!