The Big Non Event

For 6 weeks I have known that on the 11th of July our home would be going to auction. It is a totally unwanted sale by me but it's time and I know that.

I had these pictures in my head of standing in the sun across the road with most of the neighbors Andrew Bec the kids and listening as we waited and watched people bid on 'The Big Day'. There would be laughter and that would help me hold back my tears and afterward we would pop a bottle of sparkling wine and toast to our lovely house and the people who decided to buy it from us. To the many many happy years and moments we have had here.

But yesterday with what felt like a whisper instead we sold our home.

It was the right decision. Absolutely and unequivocally the right decision. But it feels like a dream, like a mistake. Until I walk outside and see that big red sticker across the board that reminds me, yes it will be someone else's soon.

I decided to stay quiet about the price. This little street has a way of being nosy and in your face but no one asked. And I was glad. But as my neighbor and I sat out the front last night with all the kids having a movie night inside a stranger walked into our street. We smiled at him and said 'it's a dead end' because so many people walk in thinking they can walk out the other way. He looked at us crossly and said 'I know it's a dead end, I came to see the house that sold for $..... today' and then he looked at the sold sticker on the board and said 'was it this? Shit!' And walked out again. I guess it's the universes way of making sure I didn't have to answer the question.

So that's it. I've woken today feeling heavy and like I'm in a dream. I know good things will come, I really do. But for now I'm going to continue walking down my hall touching the walls. Thinking of how every single inch of this house inside and out are places I have touched fixed and loved for 13 years.

From a dream I had, to buying it, to birthing in it, to pulling bits down and putting them back again, to all of the plans, to the boys planning on keeping it forever, to the years of children running and climbing on it, to gatherings with loved ones .... Cheers old house. We have loved you so much. Thank you for keeping us safe.