Friday, 4 February 2011

Brotherly Love

My boys can sometimes be quite awful to each other. It's just normal sibling stuff and brother stuff and boy stuff. But seeing that Andrew and I are both only children sometimes we find it alarming at how mean they can be within seconds of loving each other.

It's an interesting path, parenting siblings. I often wonder if I find it even more so, because it's a relationship that in the finer details is foreign to me. I wonder if parents of only children, who grew up with siblings have similar wonderings?

Truth be told as much as the fighting is one of the hardest parts of this mothering gig. The love my boys show each other is the most enjoyable (and honestly it is more frequent than the other).

Today while Jack was at school, Hamish and I went to spend some time at the park. At one point he found a feather. It was from a lorikeet and very small. He picked it up and said he needed to take it home to give Jack. He needed a box to put it in and he wanted to wrap it up like a present.

We came home, found a box and put the feather inside. He then made a card that he decided was too small and instead added it to the box as a note with a love heart on it. Then he went off to make a bigger card. He came and asked me how to write happy birthday Jack and I mentioned that it wasn't Jack's birthday. What else he could write on the card? I asked him why he wanted to give Jack a present? And he answered that Jack was good to him and looked after him. We decided that the card should say 'I love you Jack'.

He then spent 45 minutes making, writing in and decorating the card. Put it under the rubber band he had used to hold the wrapping paper on and put it under Jacks pillow.

Later as we browsed a second hand shop he found a few little treasures that he wanted to add to the box. So we bought them and popped them.

I wondered if Jack would appreciate the love that Hamish had put into the gift. Jack is often so loving and sweet to Hamish and has been since Hamish was born. But it is quiet recent that Hamish has started to reciprocate. I worried that if Jack didn't see how special the gift was that Hamish would be reluctant to do something like this again.

I need not have worried. Jack was beautiful when he recieved it. He wasn't even interested in the ice block I had bought. He cuddled and kissed Hamish and Ooh-ed and Ahh-ed over ever little thing in the box. And Hamish sat and looked extremely pleased with himself.

It was a beautiful moment to watch and I felt humbled that I had ever worried about the connection my boys have or would have in the future.

Watching - Rewatching 'Big Love', it always makes me wish for a sister wife ... or two.

Reading - 'Stories', a compilation of short stories gathered by Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio. (so far so good)

Listening - Still completely obsessed with Temper Trap and Little Red. It's actually becoming a problem ... I may need help (or a copy of 'The Nationals new album).

State of mind - Cranky, I don't do well in weather extremes and this heat wave is kicking my butt.


Ten Coffee Day said...

That is just precious. And how nice that you blogged about it so it won't be something that gets forgotten over time.

I never thought about what it must be like for an only child to raise siblings. Very interesting.

Jo said...

That's so lovely Leigh, you must have been proud of both your boys. When something like that happens it makes you feel like all the fighting fades into oblivion, doesn't it - at least for a while :-) And I reckon it's a sign that they're going to be OK together in years to come.

Wondering Willow said...

Yeah I think that the whole sibling thing is really interesting to watch and like I said I'm not sure if I find it extra interesting because it's something so foreign to me. There is this book that I read years ago called 'Why first borns rule the world and second borns want to change it' by Micheal Grose (I think) I remember pre kids feeling like it was an interesting perspective, I must read it again.

Jo - yeah it's these acts of love that wipe away the fights (until the next one). It's knowing that they truly care for and love each other and that the rest is just ways of learning to communicate. At least I hope it is lol xx

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