Limits

There are many ways to mother and many choices to make along the way as you figure out who how and what sort of parent you are going to be.

The other day I was chilling out with a friend and her children at the park, it was one of those perfect sitting in the shade with a cuppa talking over all things big and small days. Jack and her little girl are very close and their friendship has developed recently into something very sweet to watch.

So while my friend and I sat and talked with our younger children asleep on our laps, the older 2 ran around the park. We were there for 3 or so hours and we barely saw the kids, once in a while one of us would stand up and make sure they were still within the park but that was about as active as our parenting got.

I didn't think much of it until I mentioned to a neighbour what a lovely day we had had. It was this quiet look she had on her face that told me that everything about my story had just pushed her buttons.

So many different ways to parent, and certainly the level of freedom I try to give my kids does seem to push peoples buttons, many times I have been bailed up by another mother telling me that they had been watching my child and didn't know where I was, mind you I knew where I was and I also knew exactly where my children were.

I feel like as a society we are disconnecting from our children, putting them in more care, breastfeeding less, going back to work sooner, control crying and generally having trouble incorporating our children into our lives and it seems that with this comes a greater need to control and monitor our kids, perhaps as we feel more distance from our children we then don't recognise their limits and boundaries as easily.

My boys are covered in bruises, bites, scratches and grazes, they have both chipped a tooth and fallen out of trees. As they grow i try and let them choose the how far and fast they move away from us and part of that process is letting them move through their world and feel comfortable exploring.

What is lovely is that the more i trust them the more they surprise and delight me by regulating their behaviour better than i could have ever expected.

Interestingly i have a friend who's mothering limits often pushes my buttons so like i said there are many ways to mother and certainly people who live in glass houses ........ shouldn't let their kids throw stones.

And while we talk about moving away from us here is a picture of the new haircut. Its getting rave reviews and i am feeling far more stable about the whole haircutting dilemma.