End of an Era

Just over 3 years ago I gave birth to Jack, within minutes of birth I put him to my breast for the first time. It took us about 12 hours to get breastfeeding established and once it was ,there were very few problem. I had a lot of milk he was a big baby we went together like 2 peas in a pod.

I loved feeding him, I loved being able to sustain and comfort him with my body alone, everything seemed perfect and right.
Then we found out I was pregnant again, milk changed in quality and quantity and those around me started to wean. It had not occurred to me to wean and once it did I knew it wasn't what I wanted or needed to do for me or my little boy.

Once Hamish was born Jack helped with over supply, cracked nipples and shared so beautifully with his new brother. We were even immortalised in a book called Breastfeeders Anonymous with 2 beautiful photos

These last few months we have gone from little to lots of feeds to little again, and after loads of talking and occasional diversion I noticed that he hasn't been asking for boob the last week or so.

Tonight I asked Jack did he think that he was finished needing boob, he said "mummy I'm bigger now" he stood up proudly puffing out his chest, yes he is I thought, I asked if he felt that he wasn't going to have boob anymore how that made him feel "I'm happy mummy" he said.

I'm happy too ..... no actually I'm not! suddenly I wanted more than anything for him to feed I realised that all of my wondering about how to go about weaning and letting him feel in control of the process was over, my child has weaned and I am sad and lonesome about it.

So my little boy here is my montage to you and I and our breastfeeding relationship, it started on the 3rd of January 2005 and has continued anywhere between 1 and 15 times a day every day until a few months ago, I love watching our relationship grow, but sometimes its hard my darling to watch you move further away from me

First Feed minutes old

6 months old at Coogee Beach

Almost 3 one of our last 20 breastfeeds