Wednesday 20 February 2008

Forums

Are you a member of a forum? I have noticed recently that more and more people have a forum and the topics are so varied there are bike forums, IT forums, Baby forums, photo forums, so many forums and so much choice.

My first forum like adventure was a BBS in the early 90s. It was apparently hosted right near here and was a chat place of late teens and early 20s mostly. It seems like a lifetime ago I can’t remember much about how it all worked. I remember we talked about everyday things and most weekends we would have face to face get togethers. I can’t remember what happened why I stopped visiting I think I had an argument with the head honcho and he kicked me out .... or maybe it closed down. After that I had a long break from the forum world

When I found out I was pregnant a friend mentioned a forum she was a member of. I joined and it became a daily part of my life. I talked about everything baby, with a bunch of woman mostly new mothers from all of the country. It was a great way of talking about every intricate detail of the pregnancy twinges, movements, baby bags, sexy dreams, labour plans, husbands; you name it we talked about it. I think all of my family and friends should thank that forum it really gave me a place to release everything and not bore them with it all.

Turned out though that I parented bit differently from most of that forum, I started feeling judged and attacked every time I mentioned something that didn’t fit within the mainstream ideals. Another member mentioned that they were going to a different forum that was attachment parenting friendly. That was an amazing forum, it helped me find confidence in my ideas and it too became a daily part of my life.

Recently that forum underwent a lot of change and there was a mass exodus. It was a lesson for me in the place a forum takes in people’s lives and it helped me remember not to invest too much in any forum as they are a cyber place, with none of the social, ecological or economical limits that apply in the real world.

Luckily it coincided with me starting to enjoy another forum that is homebirth and feminism based it’s filled with crazy passionate women who are so vocal it’s inspiring and challenging and as is my way its something I visit daily.

I have met people in the flesh on the forums made friends and have found and given real help but all in all I feel like I have been a bit forum fickle, I guess that’s why we all have different forums they don’t grow with you so you move to find the need the forum needs to fill. I wonder what my next forum will be....

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