Today as I stopped to get petrol on my way to Camden I remembered that I had wanted to check my oil. I had gone to an unfamiliar service station (ha service as if) and as I looked I realised that I had no idea what oil to use for this car and I was a little uncertain as to where to put it. I checked and it was very low but as I looked at the 10 types of oils and the place that I figured I was meant to put it I still didn't feel confident. I decided that I was going to have to ask someone for help.
Now before you get any ideas about me being some, throw my hands up and ask a man to do it, kind of woman I want to mention that when I was younger I once changed my own oil filter, I often rotated my tyres, knew how to push start my car and knew how to break into it when I locked the keys in, I could change wiper blades, fill the battery with water and do all manner of other non car related mechanical tasks.
Somehow I have forgotten a lot of the how to's and as my cars have got newer they have gotten more complicated.
So here I was needing to get this done with Hamish getting impatient in the car, I looked at all of the other people putting petrol in and didn't see anyone that had that 'sure I'd be happy to help you' look about them.
It was then that I noticed that the service (ha) station was one of those that has a mechanic attached. I wandered over and there was a guy about my age fixing a car. I said something along the lines of excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me, I'm not sure what oil to put in my car its sort of new (slight white lie) he looked at me as if I had three heads and asked me what mileage it had done.
I'm not sure if I'm living on some other planet but is this a number most people know, is it like your license number or your best friends mobile number? Do most people have this stored in their heads?
I checked (55,000 so you know) and he told me the oil, all the while looking very put out that I was interfering in his work day. When I then said, is there any way you could just check for me that I am going to put it in the right place he looked like I had just asked him to recondition my engine, audibly huffed and wandered over.
In the end he put the oil in for me, I think he ripped me off telling me to buy two bottles when I only needed one but I guess that's what you have to put up with if you are going to rely on strangers to help you. After it was done I smiled and said thanks, I made a joke about changing oil filters in my younger years, he didn't believe me, frankly I almost couldn't believe it myself.
How did I get here? How did I become the woman who had to run to a stranger for something so easy?
On the drive out I decided it wasn't good enough. I needed to get on top of this whole car thing so that I didn't need to bow down to some grumpy guy to help me with the upkeep of my car.
Once I got to Camden I had talked myself into popping into another service station and changing the fuse that had blown with the coins in the radio incident.
I parked and looked for the fuse box, and I looked and I looked. I didn't know where the bloody fuse box was. Hamish was getting impatient, I popped the hood thinking, there's no way its under the bonnet but yeeha there it was. I confidently I walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, can I have a 7.5 fuse please, she passed it to me and I walked out.
Wrong size, bugger,I went back in and looked at the box, I told her I needed another size and did she have any pliers so I could get the other one out. Then from behind me a guy who was around my age said, would you like any help?
Now I have never changed a fuse before, I was sure it was easy, but I also I was a bit worried about trying something I wasn't totally sure about, I audibly huffed smiled and said thanks if you wouldn't mind quickly checking what I'm doing that would be great? He offered to do it, but I mentioned that I would rather do it myself. And in the end I was grateful he was there, the stereo didn't work and I would not have been 100% that I had done it right had he not checked it.
So I learned something, even if you feel like a duffer its best to ask instead of worrying that you've done it wrong.
I also learnt that I still need to figure out basic maintenance of my vehicle. And lastly in spite of Mr Grumpy mechanic chivalry isn't dead and being appreciative of it doesn't make me less of a feminist, I still changed that bloody fuse my myself, even if a man checked it for me! Actually what was the point of this post, I might slink of quietly and go and read the car manual again
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Chivalry is dead ....... Well almost
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7 comments:
My dear, feminism doesn't mean never getting a man to help you: you know that. Feminism means not believing that your gender (regardless of which gender it happens to be) constrains you to behave in certain ways or prevents you from behaving in other ways.
That doesn't mean that your own capabilities or experiences don't constrain your behaviour. I'm a feminist: always have been. Doesn't mean I'm capable of changing my own tires. I know how to do it, technically, but I've never succeeded in getting the bolts off, and I live in fear of not screwing them on tightly enough and my wheel falling off. So I ask for assistance. In fact, I'd happily ask my partner, but he knows less about cars than I do.
You didn't ask for assistance because you're a woman or because you're not a feminist; you asked because you didn't know which type of oil you needed. It's no different from asking, "Excuse me, do you sell newspapers?" Better that than figuring it out by trial and error and costing yourself a fortune in car repairs.
And if the mechanic had been a woman, you would have asked all the same.
Yes darlin thanks for the lecture, I was feeling a bit 'helpless woman' today, but you are so very correct xx
That's not a lecture: a lecture would imply you required either instruction or reproof.
That's a tirade.
A tirade is just ranting for the sake of ranting. Mostly.
I'm just so very sick of the evident conservative, anti-feminist backlash in society these days that anything even approaching the word "feminism" sets me off on a pro-feminist tirade.
Should I say thanks for the lecture on tirades :)
I agree with your point! I just know that mum in her attempt to empower me in a world dominated by men taught me how to do simple maintenance on my car and yesterday I felt a mixture of annoyance at myself for not keeping that up and worry that without meaning to I have let myself fall into an I don't need to know it cause my man will fix it place. Now truth be told I think most couples fall into a place where certain jobs are undertaken by one or another this one just pushed my buttons
I don't think it's even a "I don't need to fix it, my man will do it" attitude. There's a huge difference between the old car you used to muck around in when you were 17 and the one you're driving now.
Truth be told, the vast majority of things that are likely to go wrong with that car, you wouldn't be able to fix, what with the increased sophistication of the machinery.
That's why mechanics are paid the big bucks.
And far more will most likely go wrong if I don't do regular general maintenance :)
True--but I'm still going to leave my general maintenance to the experts (I've just got the letter telling me to get the car serviced again). Sure, I'll be restricted to walking after the apocalypse, but I'll trade that for being fairly certain, in the here and now, that a wheel's not just going to randomly fall off my car.
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